Today, I’d like to welcome guest blogger Kristin Molnar. If you want to learn more about Kristin and her writing, check out her website.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience, Kristin. It’s all yours…
A couple of weeks ago on the FF&P (Fantasy, Futuristic and Paranormal) site, I pitched my novel, BOUND AND BROKEN to Heather Howland, acquisitions editor for Crescent Moon Press. It was a 3-5 line pitch and the first 100 words of the manuscript. I was so excited to find out that she loved my pitch. And seriously pissed at myself when she declined me because I bumbled my first paragraph during my last round of edits. The good news: she told me to re-query with her when I fixed the problems. Now I will share with you all just how I bumbled this up.
I’ve been using the FF&P critique group (great bunch of ladies) to go over my first few chapters. A consistent recommendation was that I needed to beef up the description of my heroine’s clothing. I agreed. My opening sentence is:
Zoe Mayfield could remember the last time she’d dressed with such care.
Then I simply said she was scantily clad. So, I went back and described the wind on her bare skin and the uncomfortable amount of cleavage she was showing. Little did I realize, I had started almost every sentence with She. How dreadful. I’m usually very conscious of things like that. If I find my sentences aren’t varied enough, I’ll fix them on the spot, but this time I missed it. I felt like such a dunce. What a stupid thing to mess up!
That night I lie awake in my bed thinking about that first paragraph. I let the words roll around in my head, and finally it came to me. After debating with myself I decided that if I waited until morning I would probably forget my good idea. So, I hopped out of bed and ran to the computer. I believed paragraph one is now back in shape. Ms. Howland can expect to receive my corrected query very soon.
Triple check your entries. Quadruple check them. Or you could end up feeling like an idiot, like I did.
Thank you for having me on your blog today, Tracey!